call.

So, life can be pretty frustrating sometimes.

I'm not in a bad mood, per se, but I just have a lot of stuff running through my mind.

First, I can't wait for this conference to be out of the way. It is tomorrow and Saturday, and it has been a giant headache for me...blech. But, if I'm honest, I really think that it will turn out well. Still, it will be nice to have it over with.

Second, I wish I could figure out one piece of my life. Do I stay here or do I move away? Do I get a PhD or do I pursue another avenue? Do I stick with CHUP or do I look elsewhere? Do I write an honors thesis or do I take interesting electives? Do I stay with TUMC or do I consider PCUSA? So many questions...but, as yet, no answers.

Third, and biggest on my list of frustrations right now--how do I help someone in need? I don't mean someone who needs a quarter or a ride to the airport...but how can I be a friend in the truest sense of the word to someone who is struggling deeply, whose pain is potent, who feels the weight of intense burden on his/her shoulders?

How can I say anything when words can't capture my feelings? How can I express the genuinness of my concern? How can I make him/her feel better, when s/he can't come up with a good reason to do so?

I want to be the shoulder for him/her to cry on. I want to have the open arms for him/her to rely on. I want to be the one who wakes up at 3:30 a.m. to get that sleepless phone call. I want to provide a calm in the midst of such a treacherous storm.

Obviously, I am not going to mention the person in my life who is suffering so greatly at the moment. S/he has asked me not to reveal anything about the situation. But it is so hard to not be able to do anything. I feel powerless...and I imagine that s/he probably does too--on an even grander scale.

Anyway, I haven't eaten dinner yet, I have mountains of homework, I need to get some serious sleep tonight, and I haven't talked to Stacey in awhile, so we need to catch up!

Bye. :0)