Recover.

I'm still so worn out--emotionally, physically, mentally.

I have sort of intentionally been withdrawn because I know I'm sort of on edge right now, and I don't want to snap at anyone. Plus, frankly, I haven't been feeling very social lately.

Of course, the irony of it all is that I saw lots of people this weekend...

Friday, I ran a few errands, then spent a relaxing hour and a half at Caribou, just reading a book. I think that's something I need to do more often, because it was so nice to just get away from it all and escape into someone's fictional life. Plus, I turned off my phone--I really need to do that more often, as my phone seems to ring off the hook. At 1:15 or so, I headed out to pick up Joe at his office which is waaaaaay out in the middle of nowhere. It sort of made Slippery Rock seem like a bustling metropolis. The drive was pretty though (once I got off of 79, anyway), and the rain, which was pouring down on me in Pittsburgh, had all but stopped by the time I got up to Boyers. However, I no sooner picked him up, and the rain started all over again--now coming down harder than before. But, we were headed to Cleveland and there was no stopping us (well, we did stop once, but you get the idea). We headed across 80 and got to Mom and Dad's house with relative ease, and even managed to relax for a little bit before they got home. Mom was surprised and happy to see us, and was also as exhausted and jet-lagged as one might imagine. We all talked for a little while, then headed out to Eddie's Creekside for dinner. I had not been there before, but it was tasty. Also, on the way there, Dad relayed his "Poseidon Adventure" story to us, wherein he was driving to Detroit from Toledo (and was minutes from the hotel), and it had been pouring rain, and he was slowed in traffic, so he put down his window to see, when along came a van in the fast lane, who proceeded to splash a tidal wave of a puddle...right. into. Dad's. car. He was soaked and not happy. It made for an entertaining story, however.

Anyway, we got back from dinner, I put in some laundry and we all changed into comfier clothes. Then, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves was on Encore, and, for whatever reason, we all started watching it, so we eventually moved to the big t.v. and, except for Mom, we watched the entire movie (that's right--even Dad stayed awake for it). Dad went to bed then, and Joe and I stayed up for another couple of hours talking about things--some happier than others.

Saturday, we got up and ate at Sue's for breakfast (brunch, really), and I continued to do laundry. Also, Dad and I washed my car and swept the interior and cleaned the windows. It could really use a good waxing, but we didn't have time on Saturday. I cleaned out my trunk, which contained some interesting things: a shirt and skirt for Rachel, a mini bottle of cognac, a cd with several oldies on it, and a pay stub from two years ago when I worked at Starbucks. Now, I know my trunk hasn't been dirty for that long, so somehow, that whole melange of stuff must've been thrown in at once or something. Anyway, it's gone now.

Finally, all of us got showers and headed out to our respective weddings. Three of my friends walked the line on Saturday: Amanda, Katherine, and Megan. Joe and I went to Amanda's wedding/reception, while Mom and Dad went to Katherine's wedding and Megan's reception. Amanda and Riley were married at the Bertram, where the reception then followed. It was nice to see all of the Orange crew again, and Joe got a chance to meet/re-meet lots of people as well. The food was good, there were lots of laughs, and it was exciting that Amanda and Riley finally were married after 6 years. But, cheesy at it is, the highlight was dancing with Joe. Two months in, and we were still ridiculously giddy. Especially during the last song we danced to, "Unchained Melody." If you know me at all, you likely know that that's my all-time favorite song. So, to end our evening on that 'note' was nice. It was a strange thing when we danced together though--it was like there was no one else in the room. For 3 minutes (or however long the song lasted), there was nothing else in the world, there were no problems, there was nothing to think about except for us. Just Joe and me.

Of course, all good things come to an end, and such was the case with our evening. At 10 or so, we left the wedding, and Aurora, to come back here to Pittsburgh. Stopping for gas at Sheetz in Streetsboro, we managed to get back in just over two hours, which was great, as both of us were exhausted. Joe kindly stayed awake for the entire drive however, just to keep me talking and awake as well. And, it ended up that we talked about some really important stuff.

And, yesterday, we went to church, of course. And then there was the CHUP Luau, where I tossed a football with Scott and, later, Sandi...and where Joe and I were on a water balloon-tossing team (and we came in second place in the second round)...and where we all ate lots of picnic food, which was served just as more rain came down in sheets (fortunately, we had a pavillion). We went back to Joe's, slightly damp and still exhausted, and both of us slept for an hour and a half or so. Then we had to take several bags of clothing over to the church to donate. And then we ended up having a bit of a 'discussion' if you will...but everything was resolved by the time I headed out at 10:20 last night.

Today, I work for five hours, and then I have a meeting with Steve. Tomorrow, I work again, then I am driving immediately down to Joe's so that we can head out to Ft. Meade, MD for a few days (he has to go on business, and we'll also be going to an Orioles game). We'll get back on Thursday, and then Friday, I'll work again, and then we'll leave for Cleveland to spend the weekend with my parents and...J, Mat, and Rach!!! Joe hasn't met Mat or Rach, and only sort of met J back in October, when neither of them had any clue that it would be important to meet each other...so, really, it doesn't count. Anyway, it will be really fun to be together. We'll head back here on Sunday night, we both work on Monday, and then we'll celebrate July 4th at his house with a bbq, etc.

So, a lot of really fun things are coming up this busy couple of weeks. Somewhere in there, I'll need to get a good night's sleep though...

But, for now, I just need to get ready for work. Bye! :0)

considered.

I'm sure that my fanbase is extensive, and I wouldn't want to be the reason that so many people leave their computer each day feeling a deep sense of disappointment...

And so, I will update for you today.

Of course, since my last update, life has been a whirlwind. I drove to Cleveland, flew to Seattle (via Detroit), cruised to and around Alaska, cruised back to Seattle, flew back to Cleveland (via Minneapolis/St. Paul), and drove back to Pittsburgh. And worked. And went to both a burial and a memorial service. And saw Nacho Libre.

So, there you have it...in a nutshell, anyway.

My cruise with the family was delightful. I got the opportunity to read books for fun (I read The Things They Carried and In Her Shoes), to take naps, to see a new film (The Producers), to play cards, to play penny slots...and, oh yeah, to spend time with my family in Juneau, Ketchikan, and Sitka (and while we had a 'scenic tour' of Glacier Bay National Park).

Two highlights of the trip, of course, were kayaking in Sitka and going on a 7-part zipline (the longest of which was @ 765 feet, plus there were 3 suspension bridges) course through a part of the Tongass National Forest in Ketchikan. Beautiful scenery (The Forest of Endor and E.T. both came to mind), bald eagles, sealions, humpback whales, dolphins...they all were a part of my Alaska Experience.

Plus, my family's just awesome. And I get to see them all again a week from Friday! We're all going to Mom and Dad's for Independence Day, and, this time, I will be bringing Joe...(Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn). J, Mat, and Rach haven't met Joe yet. Well, technically, J has, but it was last October when even I hadn't talked to him yet, so that doesn't really count. He and I will be driving up sometime that afternoon and staying through Sunday evening. We both work that Monday, and will be able to then spend the 4th with his family--we're going to have a barbeque at the house.

Which brings me to my second major event in the past two weeks (and the reason why it was tough to discuss Father's Day yesterday): Joe's dad died on June 9. That was the day I was flying back, so I didn't get to say goodbye, but I was able to get back to their house in Pittsburgh by early Saturday afternoon to help take care of things. I guess the thing about it is, it was a real blessing that he died in several ways. First, it took him out of his own pain--years worth--and it also was something that was a long time coming...so the family at least expected it, though that, of course, didn't make it easy by any stretch. But, his brothers and their families all came into town, and through everything, there was a lot of reconciliation that was able to take place.

Joe and I talked for a long time--several times--about how he is doing. And we both know that some days are going to be better than others, and that, at weird times, he'll think about something that will trigger a whole bunch of memories for no particular reason. And sometimes, he might be angry--it would be hard to know that your dad won't be at your wedding, won't meet his grandkids, etc. I am just glad that Joe has someone to talk to...and, of course, I'm also glad that someone happens to be me.

In light of all that, then, he and I have also sort of discussed "us." We talked about how dealing with this sort of thing only a couple of months into the relationship would likely end a lot of people. After all, this isn't about the giddiness and the butterfly-filled stomachs and all the other stuff that seems to exist early on. This is real pain. And real life. You can't sugarcoat this stuff. And it absolutely has required us to be open with each other in a way that would make some people uncomfortable with their newer girl- or boyfriend. For us, it seems that this event has propelled us rather than hindered us. And, for the first time, we'll be able to be "us" without having such an important "other-than-us" thing to worry about. Obviously, I'm not trying to say that I'm happy that Joe's dad died, and I hope the preceeding sentence doesn't sound horribly selfish, but Joe and I talked about it a couple of days ago, and it's just the truth of the matter.

On a sort of related note, both Joe and I were forced to come up with witty answers in response to the dozens of people (mostly his relatives) who made comments like, "Well, will the next time we see you be your wedding?" or "You two better hold onto each other," or "I'm glad Joe has finally found a special girl like you because he's a special, special, special boy and you had better take care of him."

We compared notes and realized that some people were trying to get information out of both of us at seperate times.

Anyway, today, I need to begin the hunt for another job. And I need to clean my apartment (which might even mean cleaning out lots of excess papers, a job I do annually, but really ought to do more than once a year). And the maintenance people are coming to do final window measurements, as they're putting new windows in all of the apartments in my building this summer. While it's nice that they're doing that, I'm super bummed that my air conditioner will no longer fit...but, apparently, there's some sort of compensation headed towards those of us in such a predicament.

So, admiring fans (all 4 or 5 of you), I leave you now to pursue all sorts of fun activities.

Bye. :0)