sunny.

It is a glorious day here in Pittsburgh, PA.

The sun is shining, the breeze is mild, and I get to wear my flip flops...again!

It's remarkable what nice weather does to the people around here--but, then again, good weather is fairly anomalous around these parts, so I shouldn't be too surprised that it is so mood-shifting.

Things have been crazy around here lately. In some ways, I have been so happy about life, and, yet, I am also ridiculously bogged down with things to do, and, furthermore, there are a few things weighing on my mind that bring down the happiness level significantly.

Still, it's nice to have the weather acting as a pick-me-up.

Also, we're already almost through with week three of term 3. What does this mean? That there are only 7 weeks + finals left for me...and then...ALASKA!!!!!!!

I have been thinking a lot about my decision to not return to Israel this summer, and the more I think about it, the more certain I am that I'm doing the right thing. It's a good feeling to be so settled in such a big decision.

In fact, I feel as if, little by little, pieces of my life are starting to fall into place...not in ways that I could've imagined, of course, but who am I? I've been avoiding thoughts that revolve around me living in Pittsburgh on a more permanent basis, but I'm becoming more and more convinced that this is where I belong right now...and after I graduate in a year(!). Crazy...but that's where I am right now with things.

Ok, I have a quiz tomorrow and studying to do in the mean time.

Bye :0)

in medias res.

Yesterday, the conference went well...but I had a very long day. I worked from 9-8:30, then went directly from there to Open Door for an hour or so, then needed some time to relax and wind down, which resulted in splitting apetizers at Sharp Edge with Stacey. Also there with us were Steve, Tim, Erlina, and Joe.

Good people.

Today, I plan on working for close to 12 hours again, but at the end, I will probably go directly to bed--no passing go, no collecting $200. I am reaaaalllllllly tired right now.

And, of course, I have homework and all, but I'll just have to do that tomorrow night.

In other news, I spent some time with the friend I spoke of in my previous entry and s/he is noticeably different in demeanor, but seems to be doing all s/he can to be positive. His/her faith is definitely strong, which obviously helps. Still, one can only do so much in the way of "preparation," and life still brings a million surprises...

Also, congrats to the Smiths (Eric and Janeane) (I'm sure I just butchered her name)...they delivered a new baby girl yesterday....little Zoe Evelyn! Mat and J are, of course, thrilled...and they're an aunt and uncle for the first time (since, of course, I have no kids.........)

Ok, enough stalling, I need to get ready for 12 hours of excitement...orrrrr busyness and mayhem.

Bye :0)

call.

So, life can be pretty frustrating sometimes.

I'm not in a bad mood, per se, but I just have a lot of stuff running through my mind.

First, I can't wait for this conference to be out of the way. It is tomorrow and Saturday, and it has been a giant headache for me...blech. But, if I'm honest, I really think that it will turn out well. Still, it will be nice to have it over with.

Second, I wish I could figure out one piece of my life. Do I stay here or do I move away? Do I get a PhD or do I pursue another avenue? Do I stick with CHUP or do I look elsewhere? Do I write an honors thesis or do I take interesting electives? Do I stay with TUMC or do I consider PCUSA? So many questions...but, as yet, no answers.

Third, and biggest on my list of frustrations right now--how do I help someone in need? I don't mean someone who needs a quarter or a ride to the airport...but how can I be a friend in the truest sense of the word to someone who is struggling deeply, whose pain is potent, who feels the weight of intense burden on his/her shoulders?

How can I say anything when words can't capture my feelings? How can I express the genuinness of my concern? How can I make him/her feel better, when s/he can't come up with a good reason to do so?

I want to be the shoulder for him/her to cry on. I want to have the open arms for him/her to rely on. I want to be the one who wakes up at 3:30 a.m. to get that sleepless phone call. I want to provide a calm in the midst of such a treacherous storm.

Obviously, I am not going to mention the person in my life who is suffering so greatly at the moment. S/he has asked me not to reveal anything about the situation. But it is so hard to not be able to do anything. I feel powerless...and I imagine that s/he probably does too--on an even grander scale.

Anyway, I haven't eaten dinner yet, I have mountains of homework, I need to get some serious sleep tonight, and I haven't talked to Stacey in awhile, so we need to catch up!

Bye. :0)

truth.

When someone compliments me, I'm not very good at accepting it and, certainly, am not big on advertising it. However, I got back my final from Dr. Nelson and I appreciate her comments because she is particularly thoughtful in her writing--I'm certain that she responded uniquely to each final she graded. Here's what mine says:

"Kristen--most delightful. You speak authentically in your own voice, write consistently and with great verve, and draw together a wide variety of resources. Now let's do this again next year!"

Dr. Nelson, too, responded to my writing in a genuine way, and I appreciate that about her, though we don't agree on many of the issues at hand. :0)

__________________________________

Secondly, I had lunch with Dave yesterday and, at that point, received my official invitation to return to CHUP for a second year. I wasn't entirely worried about it, quite honestly, but it still felt good to be asked, and I enthusiastically agreed. Plus, while this year was a sort of "potpourri" of activity in order to be faithful to the contract, next year I will get my own big thing--programmatic or otherwise--to spearhead and see through. Hurray! I have to start brainstorming about what that will include.

At any rate, as I said to Stacey, there is no way I could've ever predicted my life right now, but I'm really happy with where I am and what I'm doing, and that is a good feeling. :0)

__________________________________

Thirdly (but related to number two above), I am really excited about the friendships that have been developing in my life over the past few months. I have some really good friends at PTS, of course, but I have also grown rather jaded because of the way others treated me after I voiced my thoughts (the horror!!) last term. At any rate, it is a great relief to have a support system not attached to school...I don't always have to talk about theology and polity. Sometimes, I just talk about eighties music and Strawberry Shortcake and other non-PTSish stuff. Plus, the chuppers in particular are becomming people who will likely be in my life for a long time. :0)
__________________________________

Today is busy: 4 loads of laundry, 3 classes, 2 meetings, 1 trip to Giant Eagle, and plenty of writing to do. It will be a good day though. :0)

and stuff...

Quotable moments of the past few days:

1. "You really should play the field."
2. "I just learned 6 new ways to bake a chicken."
3. "Ohhhhh......I saw your booootay."
4. "I contacted Lorenzo first."
5. "Frozen squirrels. *click click*" / "Break it down squirrels. *click click*"
6. "And jump and flip. And flip and jump."
7. "What is that poodle in front of you?" "That's my hair!"
8. "Who says attractive?" "People who are older than 13."
9. "Rose in Facoon."
10. "She went to Thailand." (Pronounced [thigh-land])

ch-ch-ch-changes.

I have so many things about which to talk.

A wedding, a funeral, 2 vacations...all in a 2 week period.

Of course, most fresh in my mind is Grandpa's funeral. He died on Wednesday night, at only 78. I want to say more about it all, but my mind is going so many different directions that it's hard to know what, precisely, to say.

And Marne's wedding was beautiful (once Dabney and I got there, that is!), and it was such a thrill to see Dabney again...she went with me to the Open Door that Friday night (seems so long ago), then we went to Kings with Brian, Tim, Adam, Steve, Scott, Joe, and Stacey, which was, of course, lots of fun.

And New Orleans. Mardi Gras. Po Boys and shrimp etoufee and beignets from Cafe du Monde. And beads...lots and lots of beads. And the Homans: Therese, Michael, Kalypso, Gil.

And Chicago. J, Mat, Rach. Ben. Tricky. Michgan Ave. Moody. Gino's. And flip and jump.

Tomorrow, I begin a new term. I have CHUP things every day this week, except for Thursday. Stacey's coming over that evening. I'm not sure I'm ready for another term, but I think I will be soon enough. I can't wait for the WMI conference to be over, that's for darn sure. Oh, and I'm not going to Israel this summer anymore. Big decision. And important. And will be explained later.

For now, I'm exhausted in every sense of the word.

All I can say now is a glorious comment for my dear sister: Frozen squirrels (*click click*) :0)

Bye. :0)